Super 8
PG-13
112 minutes
Writer: J.J. Abrams
Director: J.J. Abrams
Elle Fanning, Amanda Michalka, Kyle Chandler, Joe Lamb, Riley Griffiths, Joel McKinnon Miller, Ryan Lee, Gabriel Basso, Ron Eldard, David Gallagher
“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”
-Stand By Me (1986)
Now and Then (1995). Goonies (1985), Stand By Me (1986), and The Sandlot (1993). I remember being twelve, and being on summer vacation. The only thing I did was watch these movies like these.
Charles (Griffiths), and his friends, are creating a movie for a local film contest. While shooting a scene, they witness a train crash, and inadvertently capture it on film.
This is a realistic group of 12 year olds: they are a sharp group of kids, but underneath it all, they are all still kids.
Elle Fanning plays a big part in this movie. She reminds me of a young Kristina Ricci. That is to say, unlike her older sister, she actually has a future in acting.
David Gallagher has a small, but significant cameo. He decided to go the Jessica Beil route, eagerly wanting to move beyond his squeaky clean, TV persona. In Super 8, he plays a burnout stoner, working at the photo-mat.
"People know me as some school do-gooder: Saint Simon, son of a minister."
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Blindfold: Acts of Obsession
More like 9021-Ho.
Every now and again, a bad movie slips through the cracks. This movie was never released on DVD (except in Japan).
Blindfold: Acts of Obsession The best worst movie you have never seen. Bad directing, writing, editing, and acting: this is a movie critic’s wet dream. There is a fine line between made-for-cable movies and pornography. People in porno films are much more believable.
Madeleine Dalton (Doherty) gets sexually involved with her psychiatrist, Dr. Jennings (Nelson).
“Ever since he did that Mighty Ducks movie, Emilio Estevez has been strutting around like he’s cock of walk.”
-Judd Nelson (1993 interview by Gore Vidal)
Coincidently, a real-life affair between Judd Nelson, and Shannen Doherty occurred, all while they were shooting Blindfold. Doherty was engaged to Dean Factor at the time.
Doherty is the Lindesy Lohan of the 90s. Showing up late on the set, yelling at cast/crew members, DUIs, and writing bad checks. Of all the things she done (including Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows), this movie is probably the least embarrassing.
On paper, she looks like a bad person, but…you know, I don’t know where I was going with that.
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Dorf Goes Fishing
Alright, this injustice has gone on long enough. Dorf Goes Fishing is not available on Blu Ray. Yes, I would like the entire 'Dorf' collection put on Blu Ray. But we got to start start somewhere. If I died today, my tombstone would say, "Tim Conway is a genius". Please sign this petition.
Thank You
"If you will it, it is no dream."
-John Goodman
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X-Men: First Class
…Knowing others is intelligent.
Knowing yourself is enlightened
Conquering other takes force.
Conquering yourself is true strength…
-Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Yes, there has been way too many (mostly disappointing) comic book movies this year. That being said, I walked in to this film, knowing it would be at least half-way decent. With all those bad X-Men sequels, they are bound to make a good one…eventually.
This is the fifth X-Men movie. It takes place before the first. I guess you could call it the ‘Attack of the Clones’ of the X-Men film franchise; speaking chronologically, not in overall movie quality. For the record: this movie is much better than the worst Star Wars film ever made.
In this post 9/11 world, Cold War Nostalgia is all too prevalent. Things where so much simpler back in the day. The line between good and evil: The Berlin Wall. The only thing we really had to worry about was a complete nuclear holocaust.
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Sinbad: It’s Just Family
Sinbad: It’s Just Family
Sinbad: It’s Just Family, just ended it inaugural season: a full six episodes. A reality show, which follows him and his family around. Most of the content was boring; each episode had about five minutes of hilarity.
I condensed the material worth watching. This is a historical moment; no one has ever put this much effort into anything Sinbad related.
He is trying to be the next ‘Cliff Huxtable’. I suppose it makes a little sense, considering the TV shows he has done.
A Different World (1987-93) (Spinoff of The Cosby Show)
Walter Oakes: graduate student, football/baseball/basketball/track coach, dorm director of all-male residence hall, involved in serious relationship with Jaleesa, co-dorm director of Gilbert Hall, engaged to Jaleesa, couple halts wedding at the altar and mutually separates, moves to Philadelphia to manage community center. (Taken from Wikipedia)
Cosby (1996-2000)
Del: single father of an 11-year-old girl. Not much else to the character. He found it challenging, raising a kid on his own.
(3 episodes, 1998-1999) (Taken From Personal Recollection)
But I digress, Sinbad is a different man now. He no longer appears in movies or TV shows (shows in the plural sense). Right now, Sinbad is just a ‘comedian’.
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Braxton
I wish I would have found out about this earlier. I’d be a shoe in. I guess I will have wait for the next contest. http://www.wetv.com/braxtons-song-contest/ We've reached 100 Entries!
We've reached 100 Entries!
Unfortunately, submissions are now closed. But you can still view and vote for your favorite singers.
Public Votings Ends Tuesday, June 14th.
Have you always dreamed about making it big?
Upload a 60-90 second video of yourself singing Toni Braxton's smash hit "Unbreak My Heart" and see if you have what it takes to steal the spotlight!
Every vote counts. Be sure to share your video with friends and family. During the final round, the Braxton sisters will choose a grand prize winner.
One lucky diva will receive $2,500 in cold hard cash, and the best part, a trip to hang out with all five Braxton sisters!
Everything Must Go (No, I am not reviewing the Steely Dan album)
If we're gonna send him somewhere, it should be the more horrible, most miserable place on Earth…….. Scottsdale.
-South Park, Ep. 1214 "The Ungroundable"
Originally a minimalist, short story, only the barebones of film were in place. Most of this movie was written by a screenwriter. Nonetheless, the rest of the story was true to the author and his works.
I see this as more of a dramatic piece, than a comedy. Yes, it’s funny in places, and it is definitely funnier than Bewitched. But a dramatic movie needs funny moments. Otherwise, it becomes a complete farce.
The protagonist in this movie is comparable to Willy, in The Death of a Salesman. Except this movie does not end tragically: its ending is more bittersweet.
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Thor
An epic battle, between good and evil unfolds: the people of Asgard, versus the Frost Giants of Jotunheim. Thor uses his mighty Mjolnir, a giant war hammer He almost wipes out an entire army of Frost Giants. This battle is, by far, the most entertaining part of the film. Watching someone with god-like power, take out the trash, it’s just great fun.
Eventually, Odin steps in, preventing the complete massacre of Frost Giants.
Because of his arrogance, Thor is stripped of his powers, and sent down to Earth, via a wormhole. He encounters Jane Foster (Portman), an astrophysicist/romantic interest. From this point in the film, you should not get too hung-up on details.
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Part 1 of E. Dunn Presents…
Part 1 of E. Dunn Presents:
Staples of the 90s
Sinbad
It’s Just Family
It is a reality show.
Currently airing on WETV.
Tuesdays at 10 pm.
I know what your thinking. It’s 2011, the 90s are over.
Yes, this show takes place in the present.
That is correct.
However, the show’s creator, is eternally stuck in 90s at least mentally.
I’m just paying homage to one of the greatest comedians of all time.
I am catching up on episodes right now.
More on this topic, in the not too distant future.
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Fast Five
“Chances are sooner or later, we are gonna end up behind bars or buried in a ditch soon. But not today.”
- Dominic Toretto
Ladies and gentleman, start your engines, and turn off your brain:
for the summer movie season is upon us.
The quintessential, 21st century action star, possessing that rare trait—universal likability: not unlike that of Tom Hanks or Will Smith. Wrestler, writer, actor, philanthropist and comedian: a true renascence man. This man attempts to breathe fresh life into a decaying franchise.
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The Conspirator
...She is a character in the movie Swing Vote. Yes, I actually paid full price to see Swing Vote, when it was playing in theaters. In a movie starring Kevin Costner, I expected a nuanced, in-depth analysis of American democracy. Instead, all I got was a fifth-grade civics lesson; one completely devoid of intellectual rigor and honesty
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Mad About You...
Mad About You, Paul Reiser. An unusually lackluster 'Must See' Thursday. The Office and 30 Rock; these two shows were not as good as they typically are.
My theory: this is all to make Paul Reiser's new show look better in comparison. They are trying to pull a 'Step by Step': maybe no one will notice how crappy this show is, if we put it between two better shows. It will just slide under the radar for nine seasons.
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Source Code
Coulter Stevens (Gyllenhaal) is an American Army pilot, stationed in Afghanistan. He mysteriously appears aboard a Chicago commuter train. Not as Coulter Stevens, but in the body of a Chicago teacher. He has no recollection of how he got there. Eight minutes later, the train blows up, killing all those aboard. He wakes up disoriented, finding himself strapped in an isolation chamber. Coulter is the guinea pig of a scientific experiment: a sick, perverse experiment, of quantum proportions
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Someone actually got drunk Applebee's, blew 0.10 in the breathalizer
Parents of tipsy toddler sue Applebee's over drink mixup
When your here you're here, your family. A hot family member--we'd like to make sweet love to.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/13/us-tipsy-toddler-lawsuit-idUSTRE73C88B20110413
(Reuters) - The parents of the Michigan toddler accidentally served alcohol at an Applebee's restaurant last week have filed suit against the chain's parent company, saying its employees have made similar mistakes with other children.
"It's happened to them on multiple occasions," Stern said. "This is an occasion that came really close to being tragic if the child had ingested a little more alcohol. Fortunately they caught it, when the child was acting drunk and the father tasted it and realized it wasn't apple juice."
Just days after a tot in Detroit got tanked on tequila at an Applebee's, a Florida mom is claiming her toddler got tipsy after being served booze at a chain restaurant.
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update soon
I've been a little under the weather these past couple days. Source Code in a couple days. Hanna will be reviewed later on this week. Here is a little something to hold you over:
Dennis Quaid's Favorite Mistake
I'll give you a hint. It's not his entire film career.
That's what I call Soul Surfing.
Norm MacDonald
Norm MacDonald: Me Doing Stand Up (2011). This Comedy Central special isn't out on DVD till June, but this is the funniest stand up I've seen in years. It's easy enough to find online, but copyright infringement is wrong.
Sucker Punch
“Don't write a check with your mouth that you can't cash with your ass.”
-Wise Man (Character from Sucker Punch)
Movies this bad are made all the time. Except this one is not made from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan. 30 minutes hour into the movie, I noticed a few people leaving the theater, never to return to their seats. Even as I write this review, I am still trying to make sense of it all.
Even for the sole purpose of this review, it would have been nice to know her real name. For example, if I reviewed The Crow. Imagine having to refer to Brandon Lee's character as 'The Crow,' throughout the review. That would be utterly ludicrous, his name is Eric Draven, guitarist extraordinaire.
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The Lincoln Lawyer
“Let your plans be dark and as impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Call the Guinness World Book of Records, this is the maximum amount of time Matthew McConaughey has appeared on screen with a shirt.
This is the role Matthew McConaughey was made for. A phony, dooshy criminal lawyer. I keep hearing that this his best film in years, but make no mistake, there is no way it can compare with, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Typically, criminal lawyers don't make a ton of money. This man is different. Mickey does his share of flattery, fibbing, and telling bold face lies. Even without the legal background, this man could almost get by on charm alone. This is all done for a greater good...that being his bank account. As a master of deception and duplicity, Mickey is a force to be reckoned with. And I'm not talking about people getting lost in his eyes.
One of his clients, Louis Roulet (Phillippe), is a wealthy, 32 year old playboy. He's accused of murdering a prostitute. At first glance, it looks like he is framed. It looks like a very open and shut case, until he discovers his client is pure evil. Mickey and Louis, two ruthless men, battling one another in the supreme court of life.
A vast conspiracy unfolds, one that comes close to consuming Mickey. A conspiracy that flirts with ridiculousness, but nonetheless, an intriguing one.
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Cobra
The cobra roaming around th Bronx is lethal. A human being could die in a few hours, after being bitten by one. And it's a very painful death. It's almost as painful watching the movie Cobra.
Myspace blogs
I posted the archives of a previous blog on myspace. I wrote these from 2006 to 2008. The myspace page was a fake Louie Anderson profile for part of that time. These blogs are not all movie reviews, or even reviews, for that matter. I left everything in tact, including: spelling errors, clichés, platitudes, incorrect grammar, my less than comprehensive understanding of Brechtian epic theatre, callous/insensitive remarks, soliloquies, bad jokes, non-sequiturs, Luke Perry references, and puns. Some entries are less than stellar. Most of them, I knocked out of the park.