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Hugo (3D)
Well, it's official, Martin Scorsese ended his love affair with Leonardo DiCaprio. He wasn't in this movie and he is mysteriously absent from Scorsese's last film, the documentary on George Harrison.
Movie Tagline: One of the most legendary directors of our time takes you on an extraordinary adventure.
Geez, Martin Scorsese must really have a high opinion of himself. But no, it's a clever play-on-words; the film is about another director (George Melies).
Hugo has real actors, still, it felt like a cartoon, but not in a bad way.
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A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas
A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS
R
90 Minutes
Director: Todd Strauss-Shulson
Writers: John Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg
Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris, Patton Oswalt
Wafflebot- Move over Arnold, this movie has the best robot fight scene ever.
Melancholia (Mini-review)
MELANCHOLIA
R
130 minutes
Director: Lars von Trier
Writer: Lars von Trier
Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland
A big rock is on a collision course with earth.
What should we call this movie?
ARMAGEDDON? No, that is already taken.
ARMAGEDDON, the 1998 disaster film. What do I mean by disaster? The asteroid or the film itself. Like the term 'Patty Wagon': is the term derived from the Irish criminals, or the Irish cops?
The best and worst day of her life.
Justine (Dunst) and Michael (Skarsgård) are getting married on a giant estate, with an 18 hole golf course. Well into the wedding reception, the two have sex in a sand trap on a golf course (now that's what I call a hole in one).
Shortly after the soirée, Michael leaves Justine, forever.
Melancholia is similar to 2001: A SPACE ODDESY, except there is more dialogue. I would call this an avant-garde, concept film; one that is a bit self-indulgent at times.
Much effort was spent on this film, this is obvious in every frame. Vibrant colors, rich symbolism, and soundtrack that is nothing short of sublime.
Some of you may think this movie is too slow. Why isn't Jack Bauer doing anything? So I'll say this:71 minutes in, Kirsten Dunst gets naked, but in the context of this film, it's not very erotic.
Currently playing in limited areas, which means you might have to rent this. Ideally, this film should be seen in a theater. Either way, I do know one thing: this movie will rock your world.
Final Verdict 86 out of 100
J. Edgar
While we are on the subject of Martin Luther King. In elementary school, we were singing in choir class:
'There was a man named Martin–Martin Luther King.'
You can see where I'm going with this. The school's only black teacher caught me saying, 'Fartin' Luther King'.
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Tower Heist
TOWER HEIST
PG-13
106 minutes
Director: Brett Ratner
Writers: Ted Griffin, Jeff Nathanson, Bill Collage, Adam Cooper
Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Dwight 'Heavy D' Myers
Cast
- Josh is the building manager (Stiller).
- Charlie, concierge and Josh's brother-in-law (Affleck).
- Enrique Dev'reaux, a new bellhop (Peña).
- The Slide, master criminal (Eddie Murphy).
- Bankrupt businessperson, Mr. Fitzhugh (Broderick).
- FBI agent, Claire Denham (Leoni, ex-wife of Special Agent Mulder).
This film was the brainchild of Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller. Walking into this movie, I figured it might be an apology for have stolen so much of my time and money; you know, with those NORBIT and MEET THE PARENTS movies.
Arthur Shaw (Alda), stole his employees money, 'Bernie Madoff style', in a Ponzi scheme. This movie centers on steeling millions of dollars from this evil guy. Alan Alda is an actor with a lot of range. He can make fun of himself; like in 30 ROCK, he plays Jack Donaghy's biological father, a liberal college professor from Vermont. Or he can play a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, convincingly.
In TOWER HEIST, Eddie Murphy has flashes of brilliance. The likes of which we have not seen since he uttered the phrase, 'you people are rednecks'. I look forward to seeing him in future projects. Right now, I think he concerned with the legacy he'll leave behind.
On a related note...
Eddie Murphy was going to host the Oscars. That is, until this Brett Ratner controversy occurred. Yes, it's true, the Academy discovered that Brett Ratner has never made anything worth watching. Billy Crystal is the new host of the Oscars.
“Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions,” (rim shot).
-Crystal, 63, a Twat on his Twitter account.
TOWER HEIST has its momemts, but it's just not worth watching. If I had to pick a movie most similar to this one, I'd choose FUN WITH DICK JANE (2005). They both feature comedians who are past their prime.
Final Verdict: 69 out of 100
Sidenote: Dwight 'Heavy D' Myer had a brief cameo in TOWER HEIST. Strangely enough, he died they day I watched this movie. May the 'Overweight Lover' rest in peace.
In Time
The year is 2161, payphones still exist, and yes, you can save time in a bottle. What the film is trying to say, is nuanced: All behaviour is motivated by the desire to be immortal. That sounds cool, but no, as much as I wanted there to be a point to this movie, there just wasn't one. Yet, I still believe this movie is worth watching.
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Puss in Boots
PUSS IN BOOTS
PG
90 Minutes
Director:Chris Miller
Writers:Charles Perrault (character), Brian Lynch,
Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis
These boots are made for Walken
"That's it, that my new name: Puss...in boots."
-Christopher Walken, PUSS IN BOOTS(1988).
No, this is not remake of the 1988 film. Still, you should check that movie out, it is hilarious.
It's not a sequel or a remake. Nor is it some bizarre escapade, involving time-travel to a parallel universe. If we are going to split whiskers; technically speaking, this movie is a spin-off prequel,
Usually, spinoffs are completely unnecessary. Typically, in TV, they take an an ancillary character from one show, and put him/her in a new setting. PURRRFECT STRANGERS brought us FAMILY MATERS. GOOD TIMES was a spinoff of MAUD, but GOOD TIMES was ten times as good as MAUDE (that's a conservative estimate).
This 'Puss and Boots' character first appeared in SHREK 2 (2001) as an ogre assassin, hired to kill a lovable, green giant. Eventually, Donkey, Shrek, and Puss grow to become close friends.
This cat is an interesting character with limitless potential. Antonio Banderas brings his Zorro/Zorro-type character to a whole new level.
Cast
| Actor | Character |
|---|---|
| Antonio Banderas | Puss in Boots |
| Salma Hayek | Kitty Softpaws |
| 'Shock G' of the Digital Underground Zach Galifianakis |
Humpty Dumpty |
| Billy Bob Thornton | Jack |
| Amy Sedaris | Jill |
Like the other Shrek movies, Puss in Boots relies heavily on bedtime stories and nursery rhymes. Humpty Dumpty, Little Boy Blue, Jack and Jill, Mother Goose, and etc.
If you look up 'cat burglar' in Webster's you will see the following:
cat bur·glar (kat-bur-gler) noun one who steals cats for profit.
Dreamworks has always appeared like a poor man's Pixar. Pixar had A BUGS LIFE (1998), and Dreamworks had ANTZ (1998). On the surface, both movies are similar. Upon closer examination, these two excellent films are dramatically different from one another: like the opposite of ARMAGEDDON (1998), and DEEP IMPACT(1998).
Much better than any of the other SHREK sequels, and about as good as the first SHREK. Was this movie hilarious? No, but it was a cute family film. An entertaining, better-than-average animated film.
I have no idea if you will like this film. After all, I'm no psychic, I don't have a crystal ball. But you, as an audience member, have a crystal goblet, one filled to the brim with Fancy Feast.
Final Verdict: 84 out 100
