The Lorax

by Edward Dunn

"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot."
- Adam Duritz


I am the Lorax.

'The Lorax' is a cross between: Wilford Brimley, 'Cap'n Crunch', and 'Yosemite Sam'. Renaissance man, Danny DeVito —brings some of that 'Louie De Palma' (Taxi) pizazz to this character. Lorax speaks for the trees.


An inconvenient truth.


I love Dr. Seuss, in fifth grade, I would read all his prose during SSR, even after many verbal warnings by my teacher. My fellow students gave me a hard time as well.

Read More

Everybody do the Urkel dance?

by Edward Dunn

 

If you want to do the Steve Urkel dance,
All you have to do is hitch up your pants,
Bend your knees, and stick out your pelvis;
(I'm telling you, baby, it's better than Elvis!).

-Do the Urkel Dance

Stars are something you see in the night sky. Jaleel White is like the moon; nay, he is much more stellar than that. His accolades include: a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards Nomination (1996).

Venus, the goddess of love and beauty...is full of hot air. 

Jaleel is a more divine figure, like Jupiter: King of the Gods.

About 6 years ago, there was an internet hoax. Jaleel White committed suicide and left a note stating:  'Did I do that?'.

March 19th is the premier. This will be the first, and only time I will watch this show. No, that's not true, I'm not fooling anyone.

I leave you with this: the best episode of Family Matters (abbreviated version).

Goon

by Edward Dunn

"I don't have a thing. Like you have your show; my dad and my brother have their doctor thing. I don't got a thing. Everybody's got a thing but, me." He's a highlander, by God! -Highlander (1986) The Halifax Highlanders are part of a semi-professional hockey league. He was offered the job of enforcer, after beating up a hockey player, that went into the stands (Ron Arrtest-style). Doug Glatt (Scott) is a security guard for a local bar, just outside of Boston. You wouldn’t know that his dad is Jewish, a doctor, or Eugene Levy. "I get to wear a uniform that doesn't have the word 'security' on it."
Read More

This Means War

by Edward Dunn

CIA Director’s instructions: Intercept and apprehend the Heinrich brothers. Secure the device, and remember this mission is covert.

Six men in the morgue, a body in the middle of the street.
But to be fair we did manage to...
Shut up!
The mission parameters for the Heinrick case were clearly indicated to be covert. Thanks to you two geniuses, Heinrick will be seeking revenge for his brothers death.
You guys are grounded.

Lauren Scott (Witherspoon) used to go out with a guy named Steve. She put her life on hold, moving to a new city, all to share forever with this man. But this grand dream of eternal love, turned into an eternal nightmare. When she caught him sleeping with his Pilates instructor.

Read More

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

by Edward Dunn

"I have some personal issues I kinda like to get fixed."

-Nick Cage as 'Johnny Blaze'

I heard Rob Schneider went up to Cage at a party and he said 'how 'bout we take it easy on the crappy movies, unless you want to put me in one of them'.

What options do you have if your last name is Blaze? It's like someone named Frank: inevitably, he becomes 'Frank the Tank', developing a serious alcohol problem in college.

The first film set the bar on the ground; with this one, it's like someone tripped on their shoelaces before being able to cross it.  Fans of the Ghost Writer franchise (yes, all 3 of them), will be thoroughly disappointed with this latest installment.

Read More

Ghost Rider

by Edward Dunn

You didn’t do it for greed.
You did it for the right reason.
Maybe that puts God on your side.

 
Back in 2007, I heard about this movie. Mentally, all these wonderful possibilities filled my head. Those kids are well into their 30s by now; they can't play young teenagers anymore. Sam Jackson was Jamal's dad: it could be tough getting him back, unless he got paid to do it. Plus, the premise for the show was flimsy—at best.

Read More

Upcoming Ghost Writer Review

by Edward Dunn

I will be reviewing the next Ghost Rider film. It occured to me, that I really should probably watch the first one. Because I didn't really know it based on a Marvel comic.

Two Nicholas Cage movies in one week, I tremble at very thought of completing this daunting task. Yes, my friends, this is the very essence of nightmares.  But like Johnny Blaze says, 'you can't live in fear', and I most certainly won't.  Although, I may have to detox next week with some Masterpiece Theater next week.

Retro Enemy Mine (1985)

by Edward Dunn

There is a lifelong competition between the Quaid brothers: who is the craziest? I'm not sure who is winning, or how you would define the 'winner' in this particular contest. Today, I review Enemy Mine, made in 1985, right before the Quaid-man received help with his cocaine addiction.

Read More