21 Jump Street

21 JUMP STREET
R
109 Minutes
Directors: Phil Lord, Chris Miller Writers: Michael Bacall (screenplay), Michael Bacall (story), Jonah Hill
Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Ice Cube

This may be hard to believe, but I watched a lot of TV as a young kid. 21 Jump Street just wasn't on my radar, probably because it wasn't a cartoon, and it didn't have a laugh track. It’s the show that launched Johnny Depp's career, he departed after a few seasons to make Edward Scissorhands (1990).

21 Jump Street doesn't take it self too seriously. Almost like a movie Judd Apatow would make. This film is completely unoriginal, but in a good way. A celebration of cheesy clichés. Which includes a one-dimensional, multicultural criminal syndicate.

2005 was a much simpler time. The only means of communication kids had were: email, text messaging, instant messaging, MySpace, analog paper notes, Morse Code, and soup cans. Schmidt and Jenko went to the same high school, seven years ago. Schmidt was a dork in high school, and the other guy was a football star. Things are different this time around. Schmidt becomes popular, and it really gets to his head.

Ice cube plays the police captain Captian Tennill Dickson; which is like Ron Jeremy teaching sex-ed at an all-girls Catholic school.

Their assignment: to infiltrate a high school, and arrest young girls that would be involved in statutory rape. But really, they need to find the source of a deadly, new synthetic drug. A drug that makes you see the color of time.

There’s a bitchin' party at the parents house. They buy a couple kegs, and steal drugs from the evidence locker back at the station. You can guess what happens here. The parents come back early from vacation. Schmidt becomes the coolest mac-daddy at school.

Glory days, glory daze

It's your typical high school revenge fantasy: shooting classmates...on film...in a pretend movie. This is the real revenge of the nerds.

Look at that Andrea character on 90210. She was well into her 30s; I thought she was a member of the faculty…that was going to retire soon.

'Going back to high school' movies are a close cousin of the body-switching movies. High school movies, of any kind are never about people in high school. There a product of a youth obsessed culture. Involving the high school world of geeks and jocks; that only exists in movies. If they aren't cops, then they're magazine writers for the Chicago Sun-Times.

Comedies are only meant to 90 minutes long. About 10 or 15 minutes worth of content should have been cut. I do like the surprise ending, like Steven Seagal in The Onion Movie (2008) as the 'crotch puncher'.

Final Verdict: 85 out of 100

Everybody do the Urkel dance?

If you want to do the Steve Urkel dance,
All you have to do is hitch up your pants,
Bend your knees, and stick out your pelvis;
(I'm telling you, baby, it's better than Elvis!).

-Do the Urkel Dance

Stars are something you see in the night sky. Jaleel White is like the moon; nay, he is much more stellar than that. His accolades include: a Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards Nomination (1996).

Venus, the goddess of love and beauty...is full of hot air. 

Jaleel is a more divine figure, like Jupiter: King of the Gods.

About 6 years ago, there was an internet hoax. Jaleel White committed suicide and left a note stating:  'Did I do that?'.

March 19th is the premier. This will be the first, and only time I will watch this show. No, that's not true, I'm not fooling anyone.

I leave you with this: the best episode of Family Matters (abbreviated version).

Upcoming Ghost Writer Review

I will be reviewing the next Ghost Rider film. It occured to me, that I really should probably watch the first one. Because I didn't really know it based on a Marvel comic.

Two Nicholas Cage movies in one week, I tremble at very thought of completing this daunting task. Yes, my friends, this is the very essence of nightmares.  But like Johnny Blaze says, 'you can't live in fear', and I most certainly won't.  Although, I may have to detox next week with some Masterpiece Theater next week.