12 YEARS A SLAVE
R
134 Minutes
Director: Steve McQueen
Writers: John Ridley (screenplay), Solomon Northup
Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael K. Williams, Michael Fassbender

CAST
Chiwetel Ejiofor…Solomon Northup
Dwight Henry…Uncle Abram
Dickie Gravois…Overseer
Bryan Batt…Judge Turner
Ashley Dyke…Anna
Paul Dano…Tibeats
Brad Pitt…Bass

Born free and life is worth living
But only worth living
‘Cause you’re born free
BORN FREE, Andy Williams

To answer your question: this film is not about my public school experience. Although Solomon Northup was much like me, born in New York. But our similarities end there. Well, maybe there’s a bit more than that. We’re both strikingly handsome, well-endowed, human males, that were born free. The difference is that I’m not African-American, and no one has kidnapped, and forced me into slavery…yet. But slavery was Solomon’s fate. Technically, he was illegally enslaved. But for the record, I believe that all slaves were illegally enslaved, as controversial as that opinion may seem.

‘That’s not America! That’s not even Mexico.’

There isn’t much wrong with this film. Aside from the plantation owners being painted with a broad brush. I don’t know, I wasn’t alive back then. But I’m certain they can’t all be that bad.

Characters

The preacher from THERE WILL BE BLOOD, plays such a convincing racist, that even Paula Deen would tell him to take it easy.

You wonder how all the actors got, and stayed into character. I can just see it now, Paul Giamatti yelling racial slurs at the Long John Silver’s catering crew.

The plantation owners wife is a total bitch, with a capital cunt. Probably the most ruthless person in this movie. Just because her husband is sleeping with a slave, doesn’t mean that slave needs to get sent to another plantation.

Brad Pitt shows up toward the end. He’s the noble, super-chill guy, that works at a plantation. This character wasn’t really necessary, but it was nice to get a break from all the angry, intense characters.

Now Wait One, Cotton-Pick’n-Second

The actors in 12 YEARS do a fine job playing slaves. And that’s very important for this type of movie. Because some people are not suited for portraying slaves on-screen. For example, Robert Downey Jr would be a bad slave. That is, unless you used full, TROPIC THUNDER makeup. On a related note, I think some actors would make better slave owners than others. Leonardo DiCaprio and Foghorn Leghorn are ideal examples. But someone like Mark Ruffalo wouldn’t fit the part. In this film, I didn’t think Michael Fassbender would play such a convincing plantation owner. Being English and all, nonetheless, Fassbender was impressive.

This is different from other slave movies. It’s more authentic, because the story isn’t told through the eyes of a white person. 12 YEARS A SLAVE feels like a more modern version of ROOTS, without O.J. Simpson.

12 YEARS is the ultimate, feel-bad-movie-of-the-year. So it doesn’t call for repeated viewings. But fa reelz, check this shiznit out, it’s off the chain.

Final Verdict: 95 out of 100

RUSH
R
123 Minutes
Director: Ron Howard
Writer: Peter Morgan
Daniel Brühl, Chris Hemsworth, Olivia Wilde

CAST
Daniel Brühl…Niki Lauda
Chris Hemsworth...James Hunt
Olivia Wilde…Suzy Miller
Alexandra Maria Lara…Marlene Lauda

Ron Howard: Why do you think I stopped acting and became a director?
Homer: I don’t know, because you weren’t cute anymore?
THE SIMPSONS, BABF02

A couple of months ago, if you asked me if I wanted to see RUSH. I would have been like, ‘no. no, man, shit, no, man’, I’d start swinging a broken pool cue at your face. And then you would have said, ‘oh, no I’m not talking about the band, its a Formula 1 racing movie’. I’d calm down, and think that it would be a crappy movie, like a POLE POSITION Video game movie.

The movie trailers over-hyped the merits of this film. That is my main issue with RUSH. It’s not bad, it’s about as entertaining as this type of film can be. I would go as far as to say that this is the best Formula 1 racing movie since DRIVEN. Watching this is not a life changing experience, unless you’ve lead a rather uninteresting life.

RUSH, another movie from the guy who gave us COCOON, THE DIVINCI CODE, and black stereotypes.

Hammer Time

James Hunt plays a British playboy-mack. With long, blonde hair, reminiscent of Fabio in his younger days. Before he tangled up with father time.

The Man Without A Face

Daniel Brühl is the conservative, overly-analytical Austrian. One look at him, and you know he’s no fun at parties. Like the Perrier guy in TALLADEGA NIGHTS.

Two competitive guys, in an epic rivalry, on par with Wilson and Kaepernick. The only difference is both of these drivers are very talented. You find yourself rooting for the carefree guy, there isn’t any other option. No one wants a guy with a stick up his ass to win anything.

The soundtrack is kind of what you’d expect. Seventies rock, that really isn’t that bad…I guess. If I were directing this, I would put Elton John’s CIRCLE OF LIFE somewhere, because it just seems appropriate.

Behind the veil of historical accuracy, they created a cigarette ad. When James Hunt wasn’t driving a Marlboro car he was smoking one. To me it’s not a big deal, but it’s a big part of the movie.

I learned many important life lessons from watching this movie

Some things are more important than winning car race. Like screwing models, and looking good.

Rush can mean energetic euphoria; or one be in a rush, as in pressed for time.

You can win a race, but there are no real winners in life.

Don’t intentionally hurt people when you’re driving.

Live each day like it was your last.

It’s about the journey not the destination.

The Ultimate Finish Line

James Hunt lived dangerously, without any consideration of the future. In keeping with his life philosophy, I suggest you watch this on your phone while you’re driving and texting. But only do this if you’re in a rush.

Final Verdict: 80 out of 100