Interstellar

INTERSTELLAR
PG-13
169 Minutes
Director: Christopher Nolan
Writers: Jonathan Nolan, Christopher Nolan

CAST Ellen Burstyn...Murph (older) Matthew McConaughey...Cooper Mackenzie Foy...Murph (10 Yrs.) John Lithgow...Donald  Timothée Chalamet...Tom (15 Yrs.)

'I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.'             -ZOOLANDER (Derek Zoolander)

Well, I'm all out of Matthew McConaughey jokes, and my previous jokes don't seem relevant anymore.I don't know of any other ditzy blondes that magically transformed into talented actors. Except for maybe Zachery Ty Bryan.

INTERSTELLAR is about a guy that goes into a worm hole to save humanity. I like how the worm hole is in Saturn, that's my favorite planet, car, and gaming system. Unfortunately, this planet is not Saturn, it's not even Europa. This guy needs to find a habitable planet, or humanity is doomed. So Mr. Cooper and a hot female astronaut go at it, and they start a Mormon-sized family. Fast-forward several thousand years, and we have a planet of only beautiful people. I wish it weren't so, but I was joking about the last part, with Planet McConaughey.

This movie didn't get too technical. I'm sure there were plenty of scientific inaccuracies. Just check Neil DeGrasse Tyson's Twitter feed...no go ahead, check it, and then come back to my review...I'll wait. Rather the story is more humanistic. The closest film to this movie is CONTACT. Like CONTACT, INTERSTELLAR is fixated on the father-daughter bond. But unlike CONTACT, Matthew McConaughey plays a smart person. Like Carl Sagan smart. I know McConaughey has had a bit of a renaissance, career-wise, but does this film have to be released right after those Lincoln commercials? I need a stepping stone for suspending disbelief. This stepping stone could be a movie, where he plays a teacher, or a mattress tester. But hopping from Lincoln commercials to this INTERSTELLAR business, that is really asking too much. 

INTERSTELLAR takes place over a century. I don't understand why LCD technology hasn't changed much in those 100+ years. In a big budget film, it wouldn't take much to add holographic, CGI computer monitors. This issue isn't a big deal, but it was a little distracting. 

This film falls short of CONTACT, and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. But not by much. There's no way you're going to see a better science-fiction movie this year, or a century from now.

Final Verdict: 90 out of 100

Oblivion

OBlIVION
PG-13
124 Minutes
Director: Joseph Kosinski
Writers: Joseph Kosinski, Karl Gajdusek
Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko

CAST
Tom Cruise … Jack
Morgan Freeman … Beech
Olga Kurylenko … Julia
Andrea Riseborough … Victoria
Nikolaj Coster-Waldau … Sykes

‘You’re everyone’s problem. That’s because every time you go up in the air, you’re unsafe. I don’t like you because you’re dangerous.’ Iceman, TOP GUN (1986)

I’m going to try to get through this without making any jokes about Tom Cruise, his religious beliefs, his level of sanity, past romances, or his small stature; because those jokes have been made already , and I don’t like redundancy.

Nut-job-scientologist-divorcé, strikes gold once again. John Travolta tells his long-time buddy, Tom Cruise, to audition for OBLIVION.

I can’t stay away from an apocalypse movie. I like seeing people at their worst. To grossly paraphrase Charles Dickens, the worst of times can bring out the best in people.

Tom Cruise is still getting parts for non-pornographic films. Which is great. Because in the future, his only option will be; to write, direct, produce, and play all the roles, in one of his own movies. Eddie Murphy-style.

The year is 2077. The rest of humanity is going to Titan. Jack Harper is the last man on a war-torn earth. He fixes robots, because they’re not smart enough to fix themselves yet.

Nearly an hour elapses before Morgan Freeman appears in this movie. Nothing too memorable here. His character was interchangeable. But I do like the Bill Cosby, with sunglasses look.

What’s the deal with the flicker in the futuristic video-phones. You can Skype, in HD, as it is. But just because that’s how it was done in STAR WARS 30 years ago doesn’t mean we have to stick with that model.

TOP GUN is the picture that peaked Cruise’s interest in aviation; without his interest in flying contraptions, this movie doesn’t exist. Which leads me to my next subject.

The Ways… I Mean: The One Way In Which TOP GUN Is Superior To OBLIVION

Just like every Hitler needs a Mussolini. Every ‘Maverick’, needs an ‘Iceman’. Jack Harper does fight a clone of himself (you can tell they’re different because one of them has a goatee). I’m sorry, but that’s just not the same as having an ice-cold nemesis.

Conclusion

With a handful of exceptions. Most of Tom Cruises movies are better than average. And yes, this is one of those movies. Good, but not quite excellent. Nonetheless, you should see this because, visually, this film is spectacular.

Final Verdict: 80 out of 100

The Hunger Games

THE HUNGER GAMES

PG-13

144 Minutes

Director: Gary Ross

Writers: Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins, Billy Ray

Jennifer Lawerence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Stanley Tucci

The best movie featuring Ice-T and Gary Busey.                                    

CAST

Jennifer Lawrence--Katniss Everdeen

Willow Shields--Primrose Everdeen

Josh Hutcherson--Peeta Mellark

Liam Hemsworth--Gale Hawthorne

Stanley Tucci--Caesar Flickerman

Wes Bentley--Seneca Crane

Elizabeth Banks--Effie Trinket

Woody Harrelson--Haymitch Abernathy 

'With these hungry eyes. One look at you and I can't disguise. I've got hungry eyes. I feel the magic between you and I.'                                              -HUNGRY EYES, by Eric Carmen

'In penance for there uprising, each district shall offer up a male and a female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public reaping.'

There are 12 districts, and only one individual lives.  A negative raffle of sorts; reminiscent of THE LOTTERY, by Shirley Jackson. Her younger sister, Primrose (Shields) got selected, but Lawrence volunteered instead.

In the country of 'Panem', which includes all North America. The largest, wealthiest, most powerful city in the entire world is named: 'The Capitol'. Yes, that is the official city name. The writers must have pulled an 'all-nighter' coming up with that one.

I'm not sure what year this is supposed to be; for all I know it could be from the past. Perhaps it's the lost civilization of Atlantis.

The inhabitants of 'The Capitol' look like extras from a Katie Perry video. Except, no one shooting with whipped cream out of their tits.

Haymitch Abernathy (Harrelson) won the games may years ago, he serves as Primrose's mentor. Woody Harrelson is always playing a burnout. It's like Jeremy Piven, he's always playing a dick...with bad hair plugs.

There's a bee hive.

So?

Stand back.

Are you crazy? You'll get stung!

-MY GIRL (1991)

That scene from MY GIRL, whereMacaulay Culkin dies (spoiler alert). They take that scene and make it much deadlier. Except in this movie, it's used as weapon to kill people on purpose. 

When the games are going on, the movie is entertaining. Which is about 35% of the film. Jennifer Lawrence's carries most of that 35 percent. 

This movie raises many 'Why' questions.

Namely:

• What planet do they live on?

• Are they in a separate, parallel universe?

• Is this parallel universe based on junk science?

• Would people really tolerate this sort of thing?

• How does their economy function?

• What was the point of all this?

THE TRUMAN SHOW, SURVIVOR, RAMBO, and JERSEY SHORE. THE HUNGER GAMES combines all of these things. Which sounds much cooler than it actually is. Stream this on Netflix, when you're hungover...and you don't have anything better to watch.

Final Verdict: 70 out of 100