Monster's University

by Edward Dunn

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
G
104 Minutes
Director: Dan Scanlon
Writers: Dan Scanlon, Daniel Gerson, Robert L. Baird
Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi

'In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.' -Desiderius Erasmus (1500)

CAST (These actors did the voices of the characters. They didn't appear as themselves in cartoon form.)
Billy Crystal...Mike
John Goodman...Sullivan
Steve Buscemi...Randy
Helen Mirren...Dean Hardscrabble

When Mikey Met Sulley

Eighties-Style college films have had a good run. Starting out with ANIMAL HOUSE (1978), and ending with this movie (I hope). Forget PCU,  RUDY, or even the HOMER GOES TO COLLEGE episode on THE SIMPSONS. This is the last hurrah for 80s college movies.

Back in his college days,  Sulley was more of a legend than that other Sulley. You know, the one that landed the plane. He is a monster-machine that can scare the shit out of anything, and shotgun a beer in two seconds flat.

Mike, on the other hand has trouble scaring children. He's about as scary as Billy Crystal is funny. And that retainer in his mouth doesn't help his situation.

Mike and Sulley are like Chris Farley and David Spade. You have a strait-laced dude, and a carefree man. One guy eats oatmeal for breakfast, and the other goes to McDonald's; and orders two McGriddles, puts a Hershey bar between the two sandwiches, and makes a McGriddle Big Mac. And...well, you get where this is going.  Clashing personalities  forced to work together.

Nerds!!!

MONSTER'S U starts out with the basic elements from the REVENGE OF THE NERDS plot. Except, one jock, Sulley, is in the nerd frat voluntarily. Could you just imagine? It would be like Stan Gable (Ted McGinley) joining Lambda Lambda Lambda. And instead of the 'Greek Games', we have the 'Hunger Games'...I mean 'Scare Games'.

Being a prequel, we know how this ends. But is the journey worth watching?

I suppose so, it's a better-than-average Pixar movie. They waited awhile to make a prequel and that's admirable. Which is more than I can say CITY SLICKERS II. MONSTER'S UNIVERSITY isn't wholly original. Nonetheless, it is enjoyable. Like something John Hughes would create in his prime.

Final Verdict: 82 out of 100
Sidenote:  I didn't like how 'Art' is ripped-off of 'Grimace' from McDonald's. Just because no one would notice, doesn't make it right.

Hangover III

by Edward Dunn

THE HANGOVER III
R
100 Minutes
Director: Todd Philpps
Writers: Todd Phillips, Craig Mazin, Jon Lucas, Scott Moore
Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis

CAST
Bradley Cooper … Phil
Ed Helms … Stu
Zach Galifianakis … Alan
Ken Jeong … Mr. Chow
John Goodman … Marshall
Melissa McCarthy…Cassie

Bart: How could you, Krusty? I’d never lend my name to an inferior product.
Krusty: Oh! They drove a dump truck full Of money up to my house. I’m not made of stone!- THE SIMPSONS, Episode 8F24

Be forewarned: This review has many spoilers. Although, I don’t know if spoil is the right word.  Can you  spoil an egg salad sandwich that’s been sitting inside a crawl space for two weeks?

The second film was so bad.  And like number two, all the laughs are in the first twenty minutes. I do like that this franchise is over. At least I hope so.  

Alan buys a giraffe. When he’s on the freeway, the animal gets decapitated. Creating  a major traffic pileup. His dad dies from all the stress.

Friends stage an intervention for Allen.  On the way to the treatment facility, Doug is kidnapped. Doug? Do you even remember what he looks like? I have no emotional attachment to this interchangeable, ‘White Doug’ character. Doug got married in the first HANGOVER, but he was largely unseen for most of that film.

Like those folks in CITY SLICKERS II.  John Goodman, and ‘Black Doug’ want their missing gold. And Mr Chow, that irritating guy from the first two movies, he has the gold.

The third instalment was better than the second HANGOVER. I’ll give them that. The three films don’t form a cohesive whole. .This was a BACK TO THE FUTURE-type trilogy, not a preplanned LORD OF THE RINGS one.

The film closes when Alan falls in love with Cassie, a pawn shop broker in Las Vagas. She is a character, as you might imagine. At this point, I thought, this movie was awful, but at least they’re leaving it off on a positive note. But right before the credits roll, Ed Helms walks out with a boob job.

HANGOVER III is a misleading title. Like with the show GOOD TIMES. There were no good times to be had on that TV program. I had a ‘good time’ laughing at their misery, but that’s beside the point.  But in this film, no one did any serious drinking, or made any bad decisions under the influence of alcohol. The characters were in real danger. But nobody had any fun in the process, and that’s where this movie fails, its lack of fun. Appropriately enough, I did enjoy it as much as a real hangover.

Final Verdict: 42 out of 100


Flight

by Edward Dunn

FLIGHT
R
138 Minutes
Director: Robert Zemeckis
Writer: John Gatins
Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle, John Goodman


I'm too high
But I ain't left the ground
I'm too high
I'm too high
I hope I never ever come down
-Stevie Wonder TOO HIGH (1973)

Cast
Whip Whitaker...Denzel Washington
Don Cheadle...Hugh Lang
John Goodman...Harling Mays
Kelly Reilly...Hooker/Heroin Addict/ Nobel Laureate

And Now For Your In-Flight Entertainment

Captain Whitaker flies for Generic Airlines. He's a complete burnout with no redeemable qualities. After a long night of screwing, drinking, and snorting with a common harlot.  The captain was ready to fly a large commercial aircraft. He woke up, put on some aviator sunglasses, and 'winged', what would turn out as his most difficult flight.  In the midst of violent turbulence, he performed some breathtaking aeronautical heroics.

In the aftermath, his co-pilot lost the use of his legs, and a few people died. No biggie, everyone else is cool, they survived. In summary: a complete tragedy—prevented by one magnificent man.

His heroics became less impressive, (one could argue more impressive) when the toxicology report came in. Whip was drunk and high on cocaine, while saving all those lives. This negates everything: at least that was the main premise.

Since he was such a hardcore alcoholic; I assumed Mister Whitaker had endured great life tragedy, like his son accidentally died after huffing model airplane glue. Only knowing he has a problem with alcohol isn't satisfying. If there's no reason for the constant drunkenness. Then part of the movie is missing.

I like Denzel. Denzel Washington, not the other Denzel. But he's never played a convincing bad guy. Maybe it's the smile, but even in TRAINING DAY (2001), and AMERICAN GANGSTER (2007). He seems ineffective at playing unsavory characters. I've called Will Smith 'the black Tom Hanks'. It's clear to me now, Denzel is better suited for that label.

I Get High With A Little Help From My Friends

Like THE FLINTSTONES MOVIE (1994), John Goodman was the best part of this film. Playing a 'Tennille-like' figure to the captain. He was Whitaker's drug dealer, alcohol supplier, and accomplice/confidant. On the day of an important hearing. After Whip has been drinking all night. Harling gets called in to 'resuscitate' him. He does this with almost scientific-like precision, with spaced out doses of cocaine, in many of its forms.

If we can learn anything from Darryl Strawberry: don't show up to a hearing drunk and coked out. Things won't turn out very well. The story concludes with Whip testifying at a  hearing. He breaks down, and finally takes responsibility:

          'I'm drunk right now, because I'm an alcoholic.'

A watchable movie that isn't very satisfying. This is one film the FAA should have never cleared for landing; FLIGHT is about as unimaginative as that analogy.

No, wait...I can come up with something better. Bette Midler might say, 'there is no wind beneath the wings of this movie'.

Final Boarding Call

Watch this on a long plane ride on your laptop. If only to see the horrified look on the guy's face sitting next to you. Priceless.

Final Verdict: 65 out of 100

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