Grudge Match

GRUDGE MATCH
PG-13
113 Minutes
Director: Peter Segal
Writers: Tim Kelleher, Rodney Rothman
Sylvester Stallone, Robert De Niro, Kevin Hart

CAST
Sylvester Stallone…Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp
Robert De Niro…Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen
Kevin Hart…Dante Slate, Jr.
Kim Basinger…Sally
Alan Arkin…Louis ‘Lightning’ Conlon

'More money has been lost by people trying to imitate ROCKY than was ever made by the original picture.’ -Roger Ebert, STREETS OF GOLD (Review)

They’re Not Just Old, They’re Kobe Bryant Old

From the previews, GRUDGE MATCH looks like an average, inoffensive comedy. But that’s not the case at all, it teetered on the verge of average, but never got there.  From the beginning, it seems obvious that there aren’t any real surprises to look forward to. You know there is no way Stallone is going to lose in a boxing movie. Spoiler alert: he doesn’t.

GRUDGE MATCH isn’t plausible. With two men, well into their 60s boxing. They wouldn’t make two rounds. That being said, plausibility is not this film’s problem.

ROCKY BALBOA vs RAGING BULL

Two actors…I mean boxers renew an old rivalry after they were offered a truckload of money to duke it out. So ‘Razor’ and the ‘The Kid’ come out of retirement for one last fight. But that’s it. There won’t be any ROCKY BALBOA (2006) movie.

Not much effort was put into the names. Henry ‘Razor’ Sharp, and Billy ‘The Kid’ McDonnen. Sharp is barely a real last name, but it does work with the Razor nickname. I mean it’s your only real option in the nickname department. I don’t know if the Billy ‘The Kid’ name works though. That character is no longer youthful or able to shoot guns with proficiency.

Mama Said Knock You Out

Stallone is a seasoned boxing-actor, where De Niro is just a guy who was in one excellent, boxing film.  Let me say, RAGING BULL is no ROCKY IV. While we’re on the subject; I can see why LL Cool J played a boxing coach here. He was in a music video that took place in a boxing ring.

I Coulda Been A Contender…

Sylvester Stallone has been in perfect shape for his entire life. And De Niro looks like his body was given the old, 300-CGI treatment. He just didn’t seem like a boxer. Everyone knows De Niro can only play himself, a mob guy, or a cop.

I know I say this about every movie; but this movie might have worked better with Tony Danza. He was an actual boxer, you know, before all the brain damage.

GRUDGE MATCH was original, well written, full of interesting characters, splendid cinematography, excellent pacing, and most of all, it was emotionally gripping, from start to finish. I think Shakespeare rose from the dead and wrote this screenplay.

This review is over. I’ve chewed your ear off long enough.

Final Verdict: 50 out of 100

The Big Wedding

THE BIG WEDDING
R
89 Minutes
Director: Justin Zackham
Writers: Justin Zackham, Jean-Stéphane Bron, Karine Sudan
Robert De Niro, Katherine Heigl, Diane Keaton

CAST
Robert De Niro … Don
Katherine Heigl … Lyla
Diane Keaton … Ellie
Topher Grace … Jared
Susan Sarandon … Bebe

‘For the next three days you and I are married…’

Don and Ellie are happily divorced, for several years now. But they will become fake married for a few days. Because the conservative, biological mother from Columbia (the country-not the college) is stopping by to make sure things are kosher. More on her in the next paragraph.

The groom grew up with adopted parents. Then, out of nowhere, his biological mother comes to see his wedding. She the abandoned him as an infant. But suddenly, her opinion matters?

With Such A Simple Premise, What Could Go Wrong?

I’m not Jonathan Edwards,but I think Don and Ellie will fall in love again, briefly, before realizing they are wrong for each other.

The plot is closely related to an old sitcom cliché. The father is looking to get a promotion, so he invites the boss over for dinner, and everything must go right or else…I don’t know, he’s fired, or he never gets promoted to lieutenant. But nothing goes right. The wife is a lousy chef, and one of the kids burns the kitchen down.

These Characters Seem Familiar

Topher Grace acts exactly, like Eric Foreman in THAT 70s SHOW.

Susan Sarandon plays Don’s serious long-term girlfriend. She gives us an encore of the terminally ill wife role she played in STEPMOM.

Robert De Niro, you might know him as the creator of the prestigious, Tribeca film festival. In this, and many other of his recent films, he plays his character from MEET THE PARENTS.

For someone who has stolen so many stand-up routines on clergyman. Robin Williams gives an overly restrained performance as a Catholic priest. We don’t even get ‘PATCH ADAMS’ Robin Williams.

Or Forever Hold Your Peace

Before really tackling challenging projects, these Oscar winners want to hang out with their friends and slack off a bit. The movie making process is merely incidental to their vacation and/or poker tournament. THE BIG WEDDING is just an Adam Sandler flick with an A-List actors.

After cheating on her, with his ex-wife, Don proposes to BeBe. And they get married in the middle of the daughter’s wedding ceremony. I’ve never seen marital infidelity forgiven so quickly. But you to have end this movie, and the sooner the better.

The year is young, but I think it’s safe to say Tyler Perry didn’t create the worst movie this year. The BIG WEDDING IS so crass, and filthy; it would make Redd Foxx blush, and vomit at the same time. It unfolds like a sequel to AMERICAN PIE. The only difference is you don’t want to see any of these people naked.

Final Verdict: 10 out of 100

Silver Lining's Playbook

SILVER LINING'S PLAYBOOK
R
122 Minutes
Director: David O. Russell
Writers: David O. Russell, Matthew Quick
Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro

'She drives me crazy and I can't help myself.' - FINE YOUNG CANIBALS (1989)

CAST
Bradley Cooper--Pat
Jennifer Lawrence--Tiffany
Robert De Niro-- Pat Sr.
Jacki Weaver--Dolores
Chris Tucker--Danny

Patrick is a bi-polar man, who had a violent meltdown. After serving some time in the 'loony bin', he gets released to his mother. I meant 'psychiatric hospital' not 'loony bin'. However difficult it may be, he's trying to move on with his life, staying positive.

Tiffany is a much younger woman. Because her husband died tragically, she has her own mental health issues to deal with. To me, she seems a little young to have a dead husband. I'm not sure you stay married once the person dies. But I suppose, poetically speaking, love is eternal.

It's not obvious, at first, but Tiffany and Patrick will become 'crazy in love', to quote Beyoncé.

Bradley Cooper is trying hard not to be that guy that was in THE HANGOVER, especially after that last sequel. Delibrately, he's trying to appear more intellectual in his film roles. But his efforts haven't been in vain. I'm just now beginnig the process of starting to like him.

In case you were wondering, those photos of Jennifer Lawrence in a bikini aren't real. You should probably put away the Jergens and Kleenex. Jennifer Lawrence always looked as competent as the other big names in this picture. She has a long future ahead of her. Dare I say: people might still go to see her movies after she becomes old and unattractive.

It's funny, a toned-down Chris Tucker is still able to play a mentally ill patient. All kidding aside, I do like this version of Chris Tucker.

Robert De Niro, isn't essential to SILVER LINING'S PLAYBOOK. He plays Patrick's dad. An OCD, compulsive gambler, who loves the Eagles. This is where I might say the Eagles football team, for clarification. But it's unnecessary; sure, a few people can tolerate 'The Eagles' band, but no one loves them.

Is this good enough to be nominated for Best Picture?

Not likely, no movie comes close to DJANGO UNCHAINED. I'm not even sure SILVER LINING'S PLAYBOOK is as good as Ben Affleck's film ('good as Ben Affleck's film' that phrase does sound funny).

While I could always sense where the movie was going, I still wanted to finish it. When the credits roll, you feel good, that is, unless you wanted something more than a 'feel good movie'.

Final Verdict: 80 out of 100