50/50

50/50
100 minutes
R
Director: Jonathan Levine
Writer: Will Reiser
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen,
Anna Kendrick, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anjelica Huston
Serge Houde, Andrew Airlie, Matt Frewer

'Everyone dies, you know.'
-Lowell (KINDERGARTEN COP, 1990)

Well, we knew this day would come; alas, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is no longer playing high school kids.

Adam (Gordon-Levitt,), 27,  works at a public radio station.  Best friend, Kyle (Rogen) works there as well. Working ever so diligently on a volcano story; until some important news erupted in his face: he has a malignant tumor. Kyle has a 50 percent chance of dying.

Eventually, you may see this movie on VH1—because this is a 'movie that rocks' (get it, with the volcanoes)

Rachael (Howard), his girlfriend is an abstract artist, Before he had cancer she didn't seem too attached to him. On one occasion, she was late picking him up from the hospital.

Abstract art, public radio, I know what your thinking, no, this doesn't take place in Milwaukee. They filmed this in Vancouver, but it genuinely looks like Seattle, really. I'm not sure if they built a life size replica of the Space Needle, or if it was stock footage.

During his chemotherapy sessions, he befriends a couple of much older patients: Mitch (Frewer) and Alan (Hall), old. The first time they met, they all got high on pot brownies.

Katherine (Kendrick, UP IN THE AIR, 2009) is a therapist-in-training, she isn't a doctor yet. Just 24 years old, she seems detached, disinterested, and impersonal. Adam is just a character in her dissertation. Underneath it all,  she understands the importance of her role in this particular situation.

One night, Kyle spots Racheal at her art show, she is making out with some Jesus-looking dude. He  takes a cell phone picture of the two, and confronts her at Kyle's place.

Adam: You should go.
Rachael: [Kissing him] I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you.
Adam: No, seriously... you need to get the fuck off my porch.

In one scene, Adam and Kyle take bong hits and watch TV all day. It seems Seth Rogen is always playing stoners. In this movie, he is just a guy who recreationally smokes pot, from time to time...everyday. Oh yes, there is absolutely a difference.

Normally, I would expect a movie about having cancer to be depressing. The people in this film are real characters, with real character.  You should rent this when it comes out.

So, what is 50/50?
Answer: One.

Final Verdict: 88 out 100

Sidenote: I refrained from making an Angels in the Outfield reference, having already done so in my previous review. 

Weekend at Bernies III

No, there is not going to be another Weekend at Bernies movie...yet. But now that I have your undivided attention:

Denver Post Article

Shorter, but boozier and less amusing real-life version of the film Weekend at Bernie's

By Jessica Fender

Less amusing than Weekend at Bernies?

Set Up Intro (Part 1 of 3)

Set Up
125 minutes
R
Director:Mike Gunther          
Writers: Mike Behrman, Mike Gunther        
Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson, Bruce Willis, Ryan Phillippe, Jenna Dewan, Randy Couture, James Remar, Will Yun Lee

I was really looking forward to seeing this movie at a theater. As it turns out, this is a straight-to-DVD flick. Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson has lost his street cred; he's not making music. 'Fiddy' has not really done much since Get Rich or Die Tryin', not to be confused with the 2005 album, Get Rich or Die Tryin' [Music From and Inspired by the Motion Picture]. Ironically, he is the one who turned into a 'wanksta'.

I started writing a review for this movie. Then I realized, to do this film justice, I will have to split it up into three parts: Intro, Part 1 and Part 2.

Starring

•     50 Cent as Sonny
•     Bruce Willis as Biggs
•     Ryan Phillippe as Vincent
•     Jenna Dewan as Mia
•     Randy Couture as Petey
•     James Remar as William
•     Will Yun Lee as Joey

This concludes Part One.

Our Idiot Brother

OUR IDIOT BROTHER
90 minutes
R
Director: Jesse Peretz
Writers: David Schisgall, Evgenia Peretz
Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer
Zooey Deschanel, Rashida Jones, Steve Coogan

I decided to do my duty honestly and firmly. Maybe it will be
boring and painful for me to be with people. In the first place I
decided to be polite and candid with everybody; no one can ask
more of me. Maybe I'll be considered a child here, too—so be it!                                                         

Dostoevsky, THE IDIOT p. 137

Look at this guy. You can tell, solely by his appearance, that he sells vegetables at a farmer's marThe key word is idiot: only an idiot could embody the highest of human values. Only an idiot would sell pot to a uniformed police officer.

Ned is an unassuming, non-judgmental type of guy. An idealist, always seeing the best in people. This catches up to him... eventually.

Ned serves a short jail sentence. His family pays his bail, but he just decides just to serve the rest of his sentence. Upon arriving home, he learns his girlfriend started going out with his best friend, and he no longer has a place to crash (or grow organic vegetables). 

Paul Rudd usually plays different characters. Mostly playing average guys, who are lacking in confidence. I was a little skeptical at the beginning of this film, he does not seem like the type of guy who could pull this off.

(Pictured on the left) Ned is at a meeting with his parole officer. He is incredibly candid with him. Later on, he tells the parole officer about the joint he smoked with the neighbor kid.

---

Has Three Sisters

They help him out monetarily, and give him place to stay. But Ned is wreaking havoc in the personal lives of his sisters, or at least it seems that way.

Liz (Mortimer) Middle Sister. Her husband, Dylan (Coogan) dooshy documentary film maker (as opposed to a non-dooshy documentary film maker)

Miranda (Banks) ambitious (at any cost), status seeking, boyfriend  is unpublished sci-fi writer.

Natalie-Ned's youngest sister, (Deschanel), and partner, Cindy (Jones).

---

Fictional Characters Similar to Ned

This type of character is rarely explored. Most people are not able to relate to saints, but they exist nonetheless.

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (2008), a British comedy; Sally Hawkins played a similar character. A free spirited, elementary school teacher.   Acknowledging the bad things in life, while still remaining upbeat, and optimistic (I'm sure you can infer this from the movie title).

 Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud?
 Who can turn a frown into a smile for free?
 Who's that kid with a heart full of magic?
 Everyone knows it's Butters!

This kid is pure innocence:

when Butters grows up, he will end up like this Ned character.

---

My Conclusion

The actors have real chemistry together (especially Paul Rudd and Elizabeth Banks); they all have experience both comedy and drama. By far, Paul Rudd's best movie, you can really tell how much fun he is having portraying this character. 

The conclusion seems a bit rushed, that is my only complaint. This movie is worth watching; I suggest viewing it at some point.

'The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there, the Dude, takin' her easy for all us sinners.'

-Sam Elliot, Dodge Truck Spokesman

Paul Rudd on Conan.  Pretty Funny, especially toward the end.

Final Verdict: 90 out of 100

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

RISE OF PLANET OF THE APES
105 min
PG-13
Director: Rupert Wyatt
Writers: Pierre Boulle, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver
James Franco, Andy Serkis, Freida Pinto, John Lithgow, Tom Felton

'I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat ...'

-Joeseph Stalin (regarding a Soviet program attempting to cross humans with chimpanzees) 

Australopithecus, Homo Habilis, Homo Erectus, Encino Man, Tony Danza, Caesar

If we can learn anything from GORILLAS IN THE MIST (1988), it is that human beings cannot peacefully exist with Sigourney Weaver.

It is a rather ambitious project: reviving a franchise weighed down by its past—its past awfulness. 

Technically, it is a prequel, but there are still issues concerning continuity. In 2011, everything just seems much more believable, as far as the science and the CGI are concerned.

It is best just to take this movie at face value. I find myself pleasantly surprised by the 7th installment of this franchise.

Will Rodman (Franco) is a researcher at Gen Sys. Will takes home 'Caesar' after his mother dies in a hail of gunfire, after testing an Alzheimer's drug. Will smuggles doses of the drug out, so he can treat his father's ever-worsening condition. This virus (ALZ-112) was passed down to her son (Caesar) genetically, as was her level intelligence.

Will's father, Charles(Lithgow) suffers from Alzheimer's, and lives with  his son.  His place in this movie seems like a little nod to  HarryGary Buseyand the HENDERSONS(1987).  It is nice to see John Lithgow in something other than a Campbell's  soup commercial (I know—he did play a very convincing psychopath on DEXTER).

This chimp lives with Will, he learns sign language, and looks out for Will's father. This cannot be a permanent living situation; this is PLANET OF THE APES, not CURIOUS GEORGE. After a violent incident with a neighbor, Caesar is sent to a  'sanctuary'. They keep apes there, and they are treated rather (for lack of a better term)  inhumanely.

'Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!'

Tom Felton- Blonde evil kid from Harry Potter. You know he is up to no good.

Caesar throws his low-protein gruel at Dodge Landon (Felton). The chimp finds this most hilarious.

'You think that's funny, huh.'

Dodge sprays him with a fire hose.

Tom Felton has sealed his fate: he will always be typecasted as an evil guy; like John Wayne only playing cowboys. Although, I could see him playing Macaulay Culkin in a biopic.

Steven Jacobs (Oyelowo) plays the CEO of a big pharmaceutical  company.  This character is just a tad cliché. He seems very  one-dimensional, only  concerned with keeping shareholders happy.

'You make history, I make money.'

—Steven Jacobs

'Cause everytime you let the animal out cages, it's dangerous to people who look like strangers.'

         -THE WATCHER, Dr. Dre

It's interesting; how Caesar takes the moral high ground in various scenes. He gets this priceless look on his face that says: 'hey c'mon, we're better than that'. One could almost call him a 'Gandhi-type' figure, in this fictional ape society.

'Noooooooooo!'

-Ceaser

Make no mistake, this chimp is no panzee: he is like  George S. Patton, Stephen Hawking, and Confucius all wrapped up into one creature. Additionally,  he has an army of brave, super-smart apes.

The climax of this film takes place place on the Golden Gate Bridge.  The San Francisco PD and federal agents, are ready to make Rice-A-Roni of anything that moves with four hands. An epic battle: you already know the apes win. But how they win, with raw intellect, is truly amazing.

Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh Chity Chi bob botta...

When you're lost out there and your all alone

A light is waiting to carry you home

Everywhere you look.

Another sci-fi action movie for a thinking person, like DISTRICT 9 (2009), 28 DAYS LATER (2002), or CHILDREN OF MEN(2006). James Franco gives an Oscar worthy performance (well, maybe a tad better). I would recommend buying this movie on Blu-ray.

Final Verdict: 92 out of 100

The Beaver

THE BEAVER
PG-13
91 minutes
Director: Jodie Foster
Writer: Kyle Killen
Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, Anton Yelchin, Riley Thomas Stewart, Matt Lauer

The Beaver: As of now, Walter is resigning. And putting me in charge!

In this documentary, we follow Mel Gibson in his day-to-day life. We see him spiral out of control; slowly drifting deeper into insanity. Walking around the house all drunk and depressed, he eventually takes this pity party into a motel room. He fails to commit suicide in his motel room. From here, he starts talking with a puppet, like Mr. Hat on SOUTH PARK this puppet sounds like Michael Caine.

Walter Black: Who are you?
The Beaver: I’m the beaver, Walter. And I’m here to save your damn life.

At this point, I released I was not watching a documentary. This is a fictional movie that Jodie Foster directed. This film was released quietly, with little fanfare. This movie was finished before he allegedly, assaulted his ex-girlfriend, and before those secretly recorded phone conversations.

Walter Black (Gibson) is the president of a toy company. He has a long history of mental health issues. Out of nowhere, he becomes completely debilitated by serious depression. He develops a coping mechanism, communicating with others through use of a puppet.



 Merideth (Foster) is his wife.

'I’ve been very patient. But I want you. Not him.'

 Porter (Yelkin) is a high school senior. Applied to Brown University, only to turned down. Writes classmates essays for cash. He is in the process of writing a graduation speech for someone else.

 Henry (Stewart) is five years old.

Meredith (Foster) decides to give Walter an ultimatum: it is either your family or the puppet. He chooses the puppet. Later, when he tries destroying the puppet, the puppet cuts off his hand.

Henry: Is dad gone?
Meredith: He’s not gone, honey. We just…agreed that it’s better if we don’t live together anymore.

It is strange, seeing Jodie Foster and Mel Gibson on the same screen. Just think, Jodie Foster wanted Mel Gibson to be in her movie.

Mel Gibson was the only entertaining person in this film, and he was only funny for about 45 minutes. By funny, I mean it in the ironic sense.
 

Final Verdict: 50 out of 100

Sidenote:

This beaver puppet thing has be done before.

At first glance, it sounds like 'Ranger Joe' on Full House.

But that is not the case.

You see, Ranger Joe had a woodchuck (commonly known  as a groundhog), woodchucks and beavers are completely different animals.

Cowboys and Aliens Mini-Review

Cowboys and Aliens
118 mins
PG-13
Director: Jon Favreau
Writers: Roberto Orci (screenplay), Alex Kurtzman
Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Julio Cedillo, Olivia Wilde, Paul Dano, Olivia Wilde

“You have to stop thinking.”

-Ella Swenson (Wilde)

It seemed like a novelty movie. I figured, best case scenario: it would be about as good as Snakes on a Plane. 

Speaking of snakes.

Daniel Craig’s wrist, that looks familiar. And you are correct, I was looking for an excuse to watch Escape from LA.

It would be a waste of time to explain the plot, because there isn't one.

Harrison Ford plays a caricature of his other characters. He just kind of showed up for a paycheck, and nothing more.

Paul Dano (There Will Be Blood), plays his good-for-nothing, spoiled son.

This conversation between Harrison Ford and Eli Dano takes place toward the end.

Don’tcha remember me boy?

I’m sorry I don’t remember much.

I’m your father.

Oh Pa!

This movie ends like an episode of Bonanza.

This movie was good for about forty minutes; from there, it made no sense at all. And that is the worst kind of movie: one that picks you up, just to let you down. 

Final Verdict: 15 out of 100



Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger

PG-13

125 Minutes

Director: Joe Johnston

Writers: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely, Joe Simon, Jack Kirby

Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Tommy Lee Jones, Hayley Atwell, Hugo Weaving, Samuel L Jackson

One of the oldest of Marvel comics.The first issue being released in March of 1941. For all you history buffs, that was during the Second World War.

Steve Rogers, a short, puny man. Born during the Great Depression. He grew up without a father, and his mother died when he was 18. He has tried to enlist many times under many different aliases. He is magically transformed into a superhuman.

Seems like a comic book version of Audie Murphy WWII hero/actor. 5 feet 5, inches, and 110 pounds, comparable to Steve Rogers (before he grew nine inches and gained a hundred pounds).

I loved him in that Nutty Professor movie. 

Red Skull (Weaving), Adolf Hitler's head of advanced weaponry, whose own plan for world domination... (you get the picture-it sounds like every comic book you would ever read). This 'Red Skull' guy is the main villian, well him and the rest of Germany.

The villan looked like a red version of the of ‘The Mask’.

No, not Mask (1985).

The Mask (1994).

The Mask, with a hint of Skelator. 

Red Skull seemed cartoonish, but considering it is based on a comic book, that does not seem like a legitimate complaint.

Like most people, I like watching Nazis get killed. There is plenty of that, almost on par with World War II.

Tommy Lee Jones had the most developed (and entertaining) character. Lately, he has been playing a similar character in every movie, but that is not necessarily such a bad thing.

Most of it was entertaining, but do not expect anything more than entertainment. Subplot and character development, are far from exceptional. Impressive CGI and special effects, and surround sound—that will rock your world. In short, this film is full of pazazz and flashy things. I recommend seeing this at a movie theater.

Spoiler Alert !?

Captain Planet America will return in The Avengers in the present day. Mark your calendars, May of 2012.

There seems to be a lot invested in The Avengers franchise. Doesn't Samuel L. Jackson have anything else going for him? He is taking this roll way too seriously.

Final Verdict: 80 out 100

Bad Teacher (Mini-Review)

BAD TEACHER

R

92 minutes

Director: Jake Kasdan

Writers: Gene Stupnitsky, Lee Eisenberg

Cameron Diaz, Jason Segel and Justin Timberlake

Let's Start Off With A History Lesson (11 Years Ago)

PAY IT FORWARD was released October 20, 2000.

This entire movie is an exercise in suspending disbelief.

• Helen Hunt is 37 years old. Yet, she works as a Vegas cocktail waitress in a gentleman’s club. Wearing only a bra...really, come on.
• Kevin Spacey educates children. 
• Jay Mohr is a newspaper reporter.
• Deep down, all people are good.

Yes, I am going somewhere with this analogy.

Fast forward eleven years.

Cameron Diaz is 38 years old. It appears all those hours spent in the sun have finally caught up to her. She plays a slutty teacher, who is a bit of gold digger. She is saving up for breast implants, and they cost 10,000 dollars. 

So she smokes pot at lunch. It kind of reminds me of my 8th grade science teacher. We'll call him Mr B. He taught at Gateway Middle School (Everett, Washington) during the late 90's. 

Justin Timberlake plays a rich suave, dorky teacher. His character does not seem very believable. Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake made this movie completely unwatchable (well them, and the bad wrting). 

Everyone else plays does a decent job playing their characters

• Non-Creepy Middle School PE Teacher (Jason Segel).
• Uptight total bitch (Jillian Armenante).
• Middle-aged boring lady (Phyllis Smith).

The ending was alright: except it did not make any sense. An unapologetically evil, sociopath, magically transforms into be decent human being.  

Do not watch this movie under any circumstances.  It is about entertaing as a middle school assembly featuring a motivational speaker, who rips a phonebook in half. 

Final Verdict: 26 out 100

New Cliff Bar

“Wow, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.”

-Ken Griffey Jr.

This new ‘Coconut Chocolate Chip’ Cliff Bar is scrumdiddlyumptious. If you are familiar with Girl Scout cookies; they taste like ‘Samoa’ cookies, (known in some parts of the USA as ‘Caramel deLites’). As health conscious person, with a sweet tooth, this newly branded confection is deLite-full, indeed.

For food I have three ratings:

Subpar, Par, and Überpar.

I rate this Überpar.

Well-Dunn

Horrible Bosses

HORRIBLE BOSSES
Director: Seth Gordon
R
100 minutes
Writers: Michael Markowitz, John Francis Daley
Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Jamie Foxx, Colin Farrell, Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston

This is one of the worst movies ever made. I did not laugh one time. This week,  I put together a presentation. A simple movie review will not suffice in this case. Here goes:

It would be best to view this on a full screen.

Final Verdict: 1 out of a possible 100.