A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS
R
90 Minutes
Director: Todd Strauss-Shulson
Writers: John Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg
Kal Penn, John Cho, Neil Patrick Harris, Patton Oswalt

Wafflebot- Move over Arnold, this movie has the best robot fight scene ever. 

Melancholia (Mini-review)

MELANCHOLIA
R
130 minutes
Director: Lars von Trier
Writer: Lars von Trier
Stars: Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Kiefer Sutherland

A big rock is on a collision course with earth.
What should we call this movie?
ARMAGEDDON? No, that is already taken.

ARMAGEDDON, the 1998 disaster film. What do I mean by disaster? The asteroid or the film itself. Like the term 'Patty Wagon': is the term derived from the Irish criminals, or the Irish cops?

The best and worst day of her life.
Justine (Dunst) and Michael (Skarsgård) are getting married on a giant estate, with an 18 hole golf course. Well into the wedding reception, the two have sex in a sand trap on a golf course (now that's what I call a hole in one).

Shortly after the soirée, Michael leaves Justine, forever.

Melancholia is similar to 2001: A SPACE ODDESY, except there is more dialogue. I would call this an avant-garde, concept film; one that is a bit self-indulgent at times.

Much effort was spent on this film, this is obvious in every frame. Vibrant colors, rich symbolism, and soundtrack that is nothing short of sublime.

Some of you may think this movie is too slow. Why isn't Jack Bauer doing anything? So I'll say this:71 minutes in, Kirsten Dunst gets naked, but in the context of this film, it's not very erotic.

Currently playing in limited areas, which means you might have to rent this. Ideally, this film should be seen in a theater. Either way, I do know one thing: this movie will rock your world.

Final Verdict 86 out of 100

Tower Heist

TOWER HEIST
PG-13
106 minutes
Director: Brett Ratner
Writers: Ted Griffin, Jeff Nathanson, Bill Collage, Adam Cooper
Ben Stiller,  Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Dwight 'Heavy D' Myers

Cast

• Josh is the building manager (Stiller).
• Charlie, concierge and Josh's brother-in-law (Affleck).
• Enrique Dev'reaux, a new bellhop (Peña).
• The Slide, master criminal (Eddie Murphy).
• Bankrupt businessperson, Mr. Fitzhugh (Broderick).
• FBI agent, Claire Denham (Leoni, ex-wife of Special Agent Mulder).

This film was the brainchild of Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller. Walking into this movie, I figured it might be an apology for have stolen so much of my time and money; you know, with those NORBIT and MEET THE PARENTS movies.

Arthur Shaw (Alda), stole his employees money, 'Bernie Madoff style', in a Ponzi scheme. This movie centers on steeling millions of dollars from this evil guy. Alan Alda is an actor with a lot of range. He can make fun of himself; like in 30 ROCK, he plays Jack Donaghy's biological father, a liberal college professor from Vermont. Or he can play a CEO of a Fortune 500 company, convincingly.

In TOWER HEIST, Eddie Murphy has flashes of brilliance. The likes of which we have not seen since he uttered the phrase, 'you people are rednecks'. I look forward to seeing him in future projects. Right now, I think he concerned with the legacy he'll leave behind.

On a related note...

Eddie Murphy was going to host the Oscars. That is, until this Brett Ratner controversy occurred. Yes, it's true, the Academy discovered that Brett Ratner has never made anything worth watching. Billy Crystal is the new host of the Oscars.

“Am doing the Oscars so the young woman in the pharmacy will stop asking my name when I pick up my prescriptions,” (rim shot).
-Crystal, 63, a Twat on his Twitter account.

TOWER HEIST has its momemts, but it's just not worth watching. If I had to pick a movie most similar to this one, I'd choose FUN WITH DICK JANE (2005). They both feature comedians who are past their prime.

Final Verdict: 69 out of 100

Sidenote: Dwight 'Heavy D' Myer had a brief cameo in TOWER HEIST.  Strangely enough, he died they day I watched this movie. May the 'Overweight Lover' rest in peace.

Puss in Boots

PUSS IN BOOTS
PG
90 Minutes
Director:Chris Miller
Writers:Charles Perrault (character), Brian Lynch,
Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis 

 These boots are made for Walken

"That's it, that my new name: Puss...in boots."

-Christopher Walken, PUSS IN BOOTS(1988).

No, this is not remake of the 1988 film. Still, you should check that movie out, it is hilarious.

It's not a sequel or a remake. Nor is it some bizarre escapade, involving time-travel to a parallel universe.  If we are going to split whiskers; technically speaking, this movie is a spin-off prequel,

Usually, spinoffs are completely unnecessary. Typically, in TV, they take an an ancillary character from one show, and put him/her in a new setting. PURRRFECT STRANGERS brought us FAMILY MATERS. GOOD TIMES was a spinoff of MAUD, but GOOD TIMES was ten times as good as MAUDE (that's a conservative estimate).

This 'Puss and Boots' character first appeared in SHREK 2 (2001) as an ogre assassin, hired to kill a lovable, green giant. Eventually, Donkey, Shrek, and Puss grow to become close friends.

This cat is an interesting character with limitless potential. Antonio Banderas brings his Zorro/Zorro-type character to a whole new level.

Cast

Actor	Character
Antonio Banderas	Puss in Boots
Salma Hayek	Kitty Softpaws
'Shock G' of the Digital Underground Zach Galifianakis	Humpty Dumpty
Billy Bob Thornton	Jack
Amy Sedaris	Jill

Like the other Shrek movies,  Puss in Boots relies heavily on bedtime stories and nursery rhymes. Humpty Dumpty, Little Boy Blue, Jack and Jill, Mother Goose, and etc.

If you look up 'cat burglar' in Webster's you will see the following:

cat bur·glar (kat-bur-gler) noun one who steals cats for profit.

Dreamworks has always appeared like a poor man's Pixar. Pixar had A BUGS LIFE (1998), and Dreamworks had ANTZ (1998). On the surface, both movies are similar. Upon closer examination, these two excellent films are dramatically different from one another: like the opposite of ARMAGEDDON (1998), and DEEP IMPACT(1998).

Much better than any of the other SHREK sequels, and about as good as the first SHREK. Was this movie hilarious? No, but it was a cute family film. An entertaining, better-than-average animated film.

I have no idea if you will like this film. After all, I'm no psychic, I don't have a crystal ball. But you, as an audience member, have a crystal goblet, one filled to the brim with Fancy Feast.

Final Verdict: 84 out 100

Margin Call

MARGIN CALL
105 mins
R
Kevin Spacey, Aasif Mandvi, Al Sapienza, Anna Kuchma, Ashley Williams, Demi Moore, Jeremy Irons, Jimmy Palumbo, Mary McDonnell, Naeem Uzimann, Paul Bettany, Penn Badgley, Rich Campbell, Simon Baker, Stanley Tucci, Steven Weisz, Zachary Quinto

'Regulators, we regulate any stealing of his property and we damn good too. But you can't be any geek off the street, gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your keep!'

-YOUNG GUNS (1988)

Cast

* Kevin Spacey as Sam Rogers

* Paul Bettany as Will Emerson

* Jeremy Irons as John Tuld

* Zachary Quinto as Peter Sullivan

* Penn Badgley as Seth Bregman

* Simon Baker as Jared Cohen

* Mary McDonnell as Mary Rogers

* Stanley Tucci as Eric Dale

* Demi Moore as Sarah Robertson

* Aasif Mandvi as Ramesh Shah

* Ashley Williams as Heather Burke

* Al Sapienza as Louis Carmelo

This film takes place over a 24-hour period, like an entire season of 24. Well, maybe not, after all this movie isn't actually 24 hours long, and it's not as bad. MARGIN CALL is more like a dramatic reenactment of the INSIDE (2010), an excellent documentary.  What this film tries to accomplish is simple: 'hey, investment bankers are people too" Eric Dale (Tucci) has worked for J.T. Marlin the same investment bank for 19 years. He's fired without any real cause. Eric was in the middle working on long-term project. Before leaving, Eric hands a USB-drive to Peter Sullivan, and warns him to "be careful", There are many bad analogies, metaphors and platitudes. I don't know if this done purposefully, or unintentionally, that's brilliant. 'Our business is selling and buying.' 'So what your telling me: the music is about to stop, and we're going to be left holding the biggest bag of odorous excrement ever assembled in the history of capitalism.' 'Be first, be smarter, or cheat.' 'I'll do it because I need the money.' 'But you certainly know that business is selling and buying. Doesn't work very long without both components. We suddenly stop buying for a day or two. That's not something you hide under the rug. That gets out, and when it does, the whole thing comes to an end. And when it does the whole thing comes to an end, and right quick.' '...speak as you might—to a young child or a golden retriever.' 'Happy foxes and sad sacks.' 'Fat cats and starving dogs' 'When bulls the eat the bears, you're left with complete bullshit.' Alright, I made that last one up. John Tuld (Irons) is a higher-up; if I had to guess, I'd say his position was assistant vice president. This (Sir) Richard Branson wannabe, swoops down in his helicopter, and his high-priced minions bow down before him. This movie straddles the line between compelling drama and being too preachy. There are no problems with the acting itself, or most of the dialogue, this story just unfolds in bland, predictable fashion. I can't tell if there actually is a climax in this film, every moment is equally as urgent. After viewing this film, only one thing is abundantly clear: most actors are not smart enough to work at investment banks. I recommend watching MARGIN CALL once on basic cable, two years from today. And that, my friend, is something you can take to the bank...or not. Final Verdict: 65 out of 100

Real Steel

REAL STEEL
127 minutes
PG-13
Writers: Writers: John Gatins, Dan Gilroy
Director: Shawn Levyr
Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly, Dakota Goyo

The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain.  In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots.  And as you go forth today remember always your duty is clear:  To build and maintain those robots.  Thank you. - -Military School Commandant's Graduation Address, THE SIMPSONS, The Secret War of Lisa Simpson

 Crush! Kill! Destroy!

BATTLEBOTS aired for five seasons, a show aptly suited for Comedy Central—the show was a complete joke. Robots fighting one another: sounds like Transformers. It is not assure you, this isn't similar to any of TRANSFORMER movies. If anything, I would put it into the same category as those SHORT CIRCUIT movies.

Up and Atom!

The year is 2020, we see one thing clearly: boxing kills brain cells, so fighting (with gloves) is illegal.  In this future, man and machine bond in an almost metaphysical way; a bond that transcends the confines of flesh and blood. It's called robot boxing: it's like combining Nascar, Dance Dance Revolution, and the World of Warcraft. Hmmm...you know, I can kind of see what the appeal would be.

Max Kenton (Goyo) is eleven years old, he reminds me of a young Annakin Skywalker . Charlie Kenton (Jackman), absentee father, down on his luck. Deep down, he really wants to rekindle his relationship with his son.

Max challenges WRB champion, Zeus, designed by Tak Mashido (Yune): 'I challenge Zeus to a fight anytime any place anywhere, you name it, we'll be there.'
 
The final battle is between Zeus and Atom. Fighting Zeus, that would make him a modern-day Prometheus figure (where's Hercules when you need him?)...yeah, that was a dork joke.

Bailey Tallet (Evangeline Lilly) runs the boxing gym of her late father. She is an unnecessary character; I found her enthusiasm for robot boxing to be somewhat questionable. Since Lost, Evangeline Lilly (aka, Kate or Freckles) has only done shampoo commercials. It was good to see her back again, definitely a step up from those commercials.

This movie is remarkably similar to OVER THE TOP (1987). Sure they changed a few key details, no arm wrestling, truck driving, a few characters. The mother dies, troubled relationship with father, the national championship. It's like there is a book called, 'Making Unoriginal Movies...the Lazy Way'; except STALLONE read the book-on-tape first.

   1. "Do you really think you can make up for ten years in 2 to 3 days?"
   2. "He's staying with me! You tell him that! You tell him!"
   3. "I wanted you to fight for me that's all I ever wanted. "

Which of these quotes is from OVER THE TOP, and which is from REAL STEEL? Check the bottom of my review, the answers may surprise you.

This film has many flaws, but mainly, I just didn't care about any of the characters. I suppose that is almost expected in a movie about robots.

If you would like to see a film about robot fighting; I would suggest TERMINATOR II: JUDGEMENT DAY. From what I hear, it's a real snooze-fest.

Shawn Levy, the director of this film, has not made anything great since the TV series, THE SECRET WORLD OF ALEX MACK(1996).

A family film, and a popcorn flick. REAL STEAL is reel-to-reel goodness, a movie the entire family can tolerate.  Yes, REAL STEEL is a real steal; after viewing it, you'll demand your money back

Final Verdict: 65 out of 100

Quiz Answers

   1. Do you really think you can make up for ten years in 2 to 3 days? OVER THE TOP
   2. He's staying with me! You tell him that! You tell him!" REAL STEEL
   3. I wanted you to fight for me that's all I ever wanted. " REAL STEEL

Ides of March

THE IDES OF MARCH
R
101 minutes
Director: George Clooney
Writers: George Clooney, Grant Heslov, Beau Willimon
Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Paul Giamatti,  Philip Seymour Hoffman, Evan Rachel Wood, Marisa Tomei, Jeffrey Wright

'He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.'
 
     -Friedrich Nietzsche

Cast
Ryan Gosling—Stephen Meyers
George Clooney—Governor Mike Morris
Philip Seymour Hoffman—Paul Zara
Paul Giamatti—Tom Duffy
Evan Rachel Wood—Molly Stearns
Marisa Tomei—Ida Horowicz
Jeffrey Wright—Senator Thompson

Clooney's movie is based off Farragut North (2008), a play based on the 2004 presidential campaign of Howard Dean. 'Ides of March' is a term associated with the death of Julius Caesar, who died in the middle of March (44 B.C.). Additionally, THE IDES OF MARCH can also refer to the movie in between Ocean's 13 and 14.

Governor Mike Morris (Clooney) is running for president. To feed the 24-hour news cycle — he regurgitates many clichéd, sounds bites. He seems kind of phoney, but what politican doesn't?

With smartphones and cable news, It seems that people can't get away with anything any more, especially if they involve interns. But the reality is — no one has ever been very good at keeping a secret, at any point in history.

    'I'll do or say anything if I believe in it, but I have to believe in the cause.'
    -Stephen Meyers

In between appearing on the cover of GQ, and breaking up fights at art shows, he has a profession, he acts in many movies. And I'm no psychic (or mathematician), but Ryan Gossling will definitely get an Oscar next year and/or the Nobel Peace Prize.

Steven Meyers (Gossling) is the Junior Campaign Manager for Governor Morris.  Over the course of this movie, we see this man transform from an idealist to a nihilist.

    'You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness!'
        -Obi-Wan Kenobi to Darth Vader.

Ida Horowicz (Tomei) is a NY times reporter, this character does not add much to the movie. Marisa Tomei has always played whores, but not in this film. I'm just not comfortable with idea of her playing a non-whore. It appears she did research on what do smart people looked like? She got the glasses part down, but that's it. I recognize it's necessary to suspend disbelief when watching a movie, but this is asking way too much, It's like Adam Sandler playing a lawyer, or a dentist, really?
 
There haven't been a ton of good political movies in the 90s and 2000s. THE GOOD SHEPARD (2006), WAG THE DIG (1997), and ELECTION (1999) are notable exceptions.
 
Going back further, ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN (1976), an excellent film.

You don't know Dick

The parking garage scene with 'Deep Throat' smoking a cigarette, spoofed a number of times (X-FILES, THE SIMPSONS), a vaguely similar scene takes place in this film, between Mike and Stephen.

And The West Wing...Jimmy Smitts ruined a perfectly good show.  
 
Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a Karl Rove-type character. I must say, I have never been disappointed with him, except for ALONG CAME POLLY(2004). (MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III was half-way watchable). He is like Vincent D'Onofrio, somehow, he brings excellence, even to lackluster films.
 
I would not call this his best work as a director or producer. I believe it's well within his capacity to make a better movie than this one, not that this is awful, but he can do better. Syriana (2005) and GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK (2005) are much better. I would call this about as good as MICHEAL CLAYTON(2007).

In short, I'd say this movie is slightly better than BULWORTH (1998). Oh, did I say slightly, I meant much better, this movie is much better than BULWORTH (1998).

Final Verdict: 80 out of 100

50/50

50/50
100 minutes
R
Director: Jonathan Levine
Writer: Will Reiser
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Seth Rogen,
Anna Kendrick, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anjelica Huston
Serge Houde, Andrew Airlie, Matt Frewer

'Everyone dies, you know.'
-Lowell (KINDERGARTEN COP, 1990)

Well, we knew this day would come; alas, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is no longer playing high school kids.

Adam (Gordon-Levitt,), 27,  works at a public radio station.  Best friend, Kyle (Rogen) works there as well. Working ever so diligently on a volcano story; until some important news erupted in his face: he has a malignant tumor. Kyle has a 50 percent chance of dying.

Eventually, you may see this movie on VH1—because this is a 'movie that rocks' (get it, with the volcanoes)

Rachael (Howard), his girlfriend is an abstract artist, Before he had cancer she didn't seem too attached to him. On one occasion, she was late picking him up from the hospital.

Abstract art, public radio, I know what your thinking, no, this doesn't take place in Milwaukee. They filmed this in Vancouver, but it genuinely looks like Seattle, really. I'm not sure if they built a life size replica of the Space Needle, or if it was stock footage.

During his chemotherapy sessions, he befriends a couple of much older patients: Mitch (Frewer) and Alan (Hall), old. The first time they met, they all got high on pot brownies.

Katherine (Kendrick, UP IN THE AIR, 2009) is a therapist-in-training, she isn't a doctor yet. Just 24 years old, she seems detached, disinterested, and impersonal. Adam is just a character in her dissertation. Underneath it all,  she understands the importance of her role in this particular situation.

One night, Kyle spots Racheal at her art show, she is making out with some Jesus-looking dude. He  takes a cell phone picture of the two, and confronts her at Kyle's place.

Adam: You should go.
Rachael: [Kissing him] I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you.
Adam: No, seriously... you need to get the fuck off my porch.

In one scene, Adam and Kyle take bong hits and watch TV all day. It seems Seth Rogen is always playing stoners. In this movie, he is just a guy who recreationally smokes pot, from time to time...everyday. Oh yes, there is absolutely a difference.

Normally, I would expect a movie about having cancer to be depressing. The people in this film are real characters, with real character.  You should rent this when it comes out.

So, what is 50/50?
Answer: One.

Final Verdict: 88 out 100

Sidenote: I refrained from making an Angels in the Outfield reference, having already done so in my previous review. 

Weekend at Bernies III

No, there is not going to be another Weekend at Bernies movie...yet. But now that I have your undivided attention:

Denver Post Article

Shorter, but boozier and less amusing real-life version of the film Weekend at Bernie's

By Jessica Fender

Less amusing than Weekend at Bernies?

Set Up Intro (Part 1 of 3)

Set Up
125 minutes
R
Director:Mike Gunther          
Writers: Mike Behrman, Mike Gunther        
Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson, Bruce Willis, Ryan Phillippe, Jenna Dewan, Randy Couture, James Remar, Will Yun Lee

I was really looking forward to seeing this movie at a theater. As it turns out, this is a straight-to-DVD flick. Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson has lost his street cred; he's not making music. 'Fiddy' has not really done much since Get Rich or Die Tryin', not to be confused with the 2005 album, Get Rich or Die Tryin' [Music From and Inspired by the Motion Picture]. Ironically, he is the one who turned into a 'wanksta'.

I started writing a review for this movie. Then I realized, to do this film justice, I will have to split it up into three parts: Intro, Part 1 and Part 2.

Starring

•     50 Cent as Sonny
•     Bruce Willis as Biggs
•     Ryan Phillippe as Vincent
•     Jenna Dewan as Mia
•     Randy Couture as Petey
•     James Remar as William
•     Will Yun Lee as Joey

This concludes Part One.

Our Idiot Brother

OUR IDIOT BROTHER
90 minutes
R
Director: Jesse Peretz
Writers: David Schisgall, Evgenia Peretz
Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer
Zooey Deschanel, Rashida Jones, Steve Coogan

I decided to do my duty honestly and firmly. Maybe it will be
boring and painful for me to be with people. In the first place I
decided to be polite and candid with everybody; no one can ask
more of me. Maybe I'll be considered a child here, too—so be it!                                                         

Dostoevsky, THE IDIOT p. 137

Look at this guy. You can tell, solely by his appearance, that he sells vegetables at a farmer's marThe key word is idiot: only an idiot could embody the highest of human values. Only an idiot would sell pot to a uniformed police officer.

Ned is an unassuming, non-judgmental type of guy. An idealist, always seeing the best in people. This catches up to him... eventually.

Ned serves a short jail sentence. His family pays his bail, but he just decides just to serve the rest of his sentence. Upon arriving home, he learns his girlfriend started going out with his best friend, and he no longer has a place to crash (or grow organic vegetables). 

Paul Rudd usually plays different characters. Mostly playing average guys, who are lacking in confidence. I was a little skeptical at the beginning of this film, he does not seem like the type of guy who could pull this off.

(Pictured on the left) Ned is at a meeting with his parole officer. He is incredibly candid with him. Later on, he tells the parole officer about the joint he smoked with the neighbor kid.

---

Has Three Sisters

They help him out monetarily, and give him place to stay. But Ned is wreaking havoc in the personal lives of his sisters, or at least it seems that way.

Liz (Mortimer) Middle Sister. Her husband, Dylan (Coogan) dooshy documentary film maker (as opposed to a non-dooshy documentary film maker)

Miranda (Banks) ambitious (at any cost), status seeking, boyfriend  is unpublished sci-fi writer.

Natalie-Ned's youngest sister, (Deschanel), and partner, Cindy (Jones).

---

Fictional Characters Similar to Ned

This type of character is rarely explored. Most people are not able to relate to saints, but they exist nonetheless.

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (2008), a British comedy; Sally Hawkins played a similar character. A free spirited, elementary school teacher.   Acknowledging the bad things in life, while still remaining upbeat, and optimistic (I'm sure you can infer this from the movie title).

 Who's the boy that can laugh at a storm cloud?
 Who can turn a frown into a smile for free?
 Who's that kid with a heart full of magic?
 Everyone knows it's Butters!

This kid is pure innocence:

when Butters grows up, he will end up like this Ned character.

---

My Conclusion

The actors have real chemistry together (especially Paul Rudd and Elizabeth Banks); they all have experience both comedy and drama. By far, Paul Rudd's best movie, you can really tell how much fun he is having portraying this character. 

The conclusion seems a bit rushed, that is my only complaint. This movie is worth watching; I suggest viewing it at some point.

'The dude abides. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there, the Dude, takin' her easy for all us sinners.'

-Sam Elliot, Dodge Truck Spokesman

Paul Rudd on Conan.  Pretty Funny, especially toward the end.

Final Verdict: 90 out of 100