THE EXPENDABLES 2
R
103 minutes
Director: Simon West
Writers: David Agosto, Ken Kaufman, Richard Wenk, Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone, Liam Hemsworth, Randy Couture
Cast
Sylvester Stallone-Barney Ross
Jean-Claude Van Damme-Vilain
Arnold Schwarzenegger-Trench
Dolph Lundgren Gunnar-Jensen
Jason Statham-Lee Christmas
Terry Crews-Hale Caesar
Randy Couture-Toll Road
'We're not too old for this shit.'
-Roger Murtaugh, LETHAL WEAPON 4 (1998)
In a struggling economy, 'has-been' action stars have struggled to find any real acting gigs. Since they can't create another 'Planet Hollywood', they become mercenaries. They know how to beat up criminals on film, and now they must use these skills off camera to commit felonies for murderous thugs. You think they're the 'bad guys', oh, but no; it is soon revealed that secretly, they were all in cahoots with the FBI...the entire time. Think DONNIE BRASCO (1997), but on a much grander scale.
That's all made up, expect for the 'Planet Hollywood' part. I don't have to explain to what it's about, it's irrelevant.
Because I had low expectations, I was thoroughly impressed with the first EXPENDABLES. Sequels are usually bigger, louder, and more lame.
But the great king 'Cobra', Sly Stallone, is no lame-wad. He brings us yet another intriguing saga: a second, 'Expendables' mission.
These mercenary characters all have a tragic fate. Similar to that of Mickey Rourke's character in THE WRESTLER. He couldn't handle working in a deli. Because the only thing he knew, and loved, was professional wrestling.
I wish Chuck Bronson was still alive, only he could have improved this film. He'd walk in while Jean-Claude Van Damm was playing craps at a casino, and then shoot him in the head a couple of times. He would say,'no dice', before calmly, walking away.
What sets apart this EXPENDABLES from the first one, is having an Asian lady in the mercenary crew. I didn't notice any sexism, but Stallone kept on referring to her as 'Connie Chung' , and 'Kung Pao Chicken'.
A third 'EXPENDABLES' will get made, but let's leave it at that. Otherwise, it just becomes plain sad, most of these actors will become senor citizens very soon. This product does have an expiration date. It's just like Sharon Stone doing BASIC INSTINCT II (2006), after becoming old and unattractive.
This film will give you everything you would expect, but that's it. We've seen way too much Chuck Norris, in the past 20 years, so I'm glad he only had a small part in this. So let us engrave the Oscars ahead of time, and just cancel the awards themselves; these guys will win absolutely everything.
Final Verdict: 80 out of 100
